WATCHING YOU.

Have you ever felt like someone was watching you?  I have.  It is disturbing and makes you look around as you go about your life.  You stand in the dark and stare out the window trying to glimpse the person you can feel staring.  People call you paranoid and then one day you realize that you may be paranoid but somebody IS watching you!  Staring into your house while you go about your business.  Following you as you shop, work, and spend time with those you love.  The photographs start arriving and finally you loose it!  You buy a big dog named Killer, a gun, and a new alarm system.  You change your routine, leave your job, sometimes your employer asks you to leave, or fires you because it is not only affecting you but everyone you work with. Finally you become so desperate you move and then somehow the person always finds you and the terror starts all over again. 

Over 3 million people are stalked every year.  Millions are stalked online alone.  It is one of the most terrifying experiences you could ever go through.  There is a truth that people do not want to admit, stalking and violent crimes are linked.  Stalkers purposely try to ruin their victims lives by starting false rumors, and making a concentrated effort to sabotage their victims work and personal lives.  I took these pictures at first because they were unique and I needed to blog my friend Zee's items.  Then I sat back thinking about when I was stalked and the terror I experienced.  In the end I could not do this blog light heartedly. 

I have been stalked twice in my life.  Once by an ex who kidnapped my cats and threatened myself and my family with violence.  He made an effort to spend time with anyone who had any link with me at all.  He would call my workplace and show up unexpectedly at restaurants, bars, or at friends homes.  I remembered the effort my friends and mother made to drive me to and from work.  One friend even going as far to sit all night outside my house so I would sleep.  I remember how dismissive the police officer was when my stalker crashed a friends car outside my house.  The heart stopping feeling when I was told how he would sit across the street in the park and dry fire a gun at my head.  He had some of my brothers convinced that I was delusional and that he loved me.  He convinced them that he was the injured party in our relationship.  It ended badly but I survived and have learned to live through what happened.  I like to think that I even thrive.

The second time was online and the man told me where I lived.  Described my house to me and told me everything he could find online about me.  I would log in to chat with friends and suddenly there he was.  It ended because a good hearted hacker took action.

Honestly thinking and writing about this makes my heart pound, and I find it hard to breath.

We have even witnessed stalking in SecondLife.  Very public cases endured by the BOSL founder and the BOSL staff , and also very private cases amongst our friends and virtual family.  I have even had friends close their accounts and have to create new avatars to escape their tormentors or just leave SL never to return because they were afraid to log in.   Here are some facts that we all should know.  More women then men are stalked totaling 67 percent of all cases.  Women are usually stalked by men but women stalk women also and men face the same terror when they are victims of stalking.  If you think a woman is incapable of violence then you are mistaken.  I urge you all to educate yourselves and visit Futures Without Violence, WebMD article: How to protect yourself from a stalker., and Cyber Stalking Prevention .  Everyone deserves a life lived without terror be it physical or virtual. 

I need to apologize to Zee the owner of SexZ.  I had started these photos to blog her items and in the end they became an educational tool.  In no way does Zee or her store SexZ condone stalking or violence.  She is a strong powerful woman whom I have immense respect for. 

Keep yourself safe in this world and the physical world.  No one can do it for you.  Be proactive for yourself.

Kalia

 

 



 

I WANT CANDY

 

Oh my events and happenings all over the grid.  First is this cute MagAnimal on my shoulder from Miamai for the Wizarding Faire 2013.  I am not sure how long this lasts so I would head over this weekend.  Next is 1 Hundred. with the super adorable Sweet Princess Dress and Sweet Princess Headband at  The Candy Fair.  The Candy Fair runs from Oct 4th to the 18th!  Also 1 Hundred. is in The Body Modification Expo  which runs from Oct 10th to Nov 3rd.  1 Hundred. has a tattoo at the Expo called Love Stinks.  You can get this tattoo for either your chest or thigh.  Each version comes with either Tango or PhatAzz appliers.  Zuri Rayna has Antique Pearls for a group gift right now and N-core finishes this off with their group gift Pink Floral Mesh shoes!  When you add all the pieces together you come up with this!  Now where is my lollipop?  I want Candy! 

 

CAT EYES @ EARTHSTONES

One of the aspects of Secondlife that I love is the ability to change how your avatar looks.  But.. yes there is always a but!  No matter what you look you strive for, the eyes you choose to wear can make or break the final creation.  In the physical world eyes are a window into the soul and this holds true for your avatar, nothing is more disappointing then when you look at this amazing avatar and their eyes are flat with no character.  It is like they just opened up the library section of the inventory and picked eyes made in 2003, it completely kills the effect.  So when EarthStones released the Cat Eyes Collection I was very excited to see what Abraxxa had created.   After unpacking a small selection of the 13 color available I wore the Sapphire Cat Eyes and was floored.  These eyes are gorgeous!  The depth and richness of color are perfectly blended with a precisely placed light reflection.  I love how the eyes also have a subtle sheen on them alluding to moisture.  These eyes will add character to your avatars look and are out just in time for the Halloween season. 

Cat Eyes @ EarthStones

EarthStones Cat Eyes - Demonic

EarthStones Cat Eyes - Golden Amber

EarthStones Cat Eyes - Emerald

EarthStones Cat Eyes - Silver

EarthStones Cat Eyes - Sapphire
Cat Eyes @ EarthStones

The Cat Eyes come in lens case packaging that held my hand out as it automatically unpacked, totally negating the need for me to place out a prim to unpack.   This packaging can be placed out in your home on the bedroom dresser or bathroom sink to help create more visual interest. 

Cat Eyes @ EarthStones





My Skin is Glam Affair - Dark Side - Ginny 06
My Hair is [e] Caramel
My Ears are .:: TBP ::. Elf Ears (not available)

TANTRA, A TALK WITH TEX EVANS



Tantra Total Woman HUD helped me get pregnant.

Enjoying a beautiful Autumn day at Skye Neist Point I snapped this photo.  I decided to share because it completely captures the beauty the Tantra HUD has brought into my life.  The focus of this blog is the following interview.

I have been mentioning the Tantra Total Woman HUD in several of my blogs.   When I first started using the HUD I had many questions and the creator Tex Evans was more then willing to spend time answering them.  He is a kind gentlemen who then graciously allowed me to poke into the motives and reasoning behind his creation of the Tantra Hud, and even into his personal life.  Tex discovered Secondlife through Wired magazine 7 years ago and was intrigued finding his way to SL he has been a steady user since. 

Kalia:  What inspired you to create the Tantra Total Woman HUD? Was it a gradual realization to do this or an light bulb moment?
Tex:  The Tantra Total Woman HUD was inspired by a friend of mine.  She was a true "risk" role player.  She loved the excitement of taking a chance, but never wanted to be pregnant.  For her, getting pregnant was the consequence of a lost gamble.  Her excitement transferred to me and awoke a desire inside of me as well.   Initially, each month we would roll the dice offline to see what happened, but after a few times of this, I decided to bring it into game and developed a simple pregnancy test where you told it what you did each day of your fertile time.  This gave way to automatically detecting the events during the cycle and after a lot of medical research and adding features, I eventually realized that there might be a few other people who would enjoy our type of role play.  When I first released the Tantra, I never imagined it would become as big as it has become.  But I'm just happy so many people enjoy it.

Kalia:  When you first started the process of creating the Tantra HUD were there any complications to the process?
Tex:  I have been writing code for a long time, so the technical aspects weren't too complicated.  The hardest thing was developing the conception model, and I spent several months reading through the medical literature to find the correct statistics.  Some of the statistics were not necessarily apples to apples, so I had to make some educated assumptions on how to convert them into something that could be coded into SL and develop some statistical models that converted the methods I could code in SL to give a realistic approximation to the real life statistics.

Kalia:  Did you anticipate the impact the Tantra HUD would have on second life and it's citizens?
Tex:  That was something that caught me off guard.  I figured that maybe 10 or 20 people would be interested in the Tantra when I released it.  I never anticipated that it would be as big of a success as it has been.  Even now, I never log in expecting to make money, or really treat Tantra like a business.  I work on Tantra for my own personal enjoyment.  I would continue working on it, even if it was only used by me and my friends. But, I have had several messages from women who can not have children in real life and how they loved being able to realistically experience pregnancy in Second Life, starting by using my HUD.  That has made all my work so worthwhile to hear that what was initially a toy to me, has meant something very special to someone else.

Kalia:  Do you have any plans to expand the product line?
Tex:  Right now, my focus is on improving the main Tantra HUD.  There are so many different areas where I would like to tailor the product for different communities, including the Furry and Gorean communities, but those aren't the only ones.  I have several accessory products that I am working on that cater to the risk role play community. 

Kalia:  Has the blossoming industry focused on pregnancy in SL been a surprise for  you?
Tex:  That is another surprise.  When I started, there was only a few clinics.  It has grown so much, and most of he clinics put a lot of effort on making the pregnancy experience a good one for their patients.

Kalia:   If you were to go back to the beginning of your second life would you create the Tantra HUD all over again?
Tex:   Most definitely.

Though never married in SL, Tex has had children with close friends in world and his work with the Tantra HUD has blossomed into a desire to have children in RL.  I think the truest indicator of the man behind the pixels is when I asked him what moment made all the work creating the Tantra HUD worth it. 

Tex:  Going back to what I mentioned earlier, the women who I was able to give them something in SL that they couldn't have in real life.

He answered my questions candidly and I wish to say thank you to Tex for spending a bit of time letting us get to know the man behind the Tantra HUD.   If you wish to learn more about the Tantra Hud itself I delve into it in my blog PLUS SIGN!. 

You can find out more about this hud here:

http://tantratotalwoman.com/index.html

To buy on MP:

Tantra Total Woman HUD

To buy in world:

Tantra Total Woman HUD

 

 

A quick note on styling

the top is Tits Up 

the hat hair is Maitreya 

 the jacket is from [NV]
skin is from Glam Affair

leggings are not available.

 

 

 

COOKIE CRAVING

This weekend Allie and I were working on the photo layout for sexZ's GOING BUST  item the Bandleader Set, when I decided I wanted chocolate chip cookies.  Allie has been a doll during my pregnancy, I believe she probably has been going insane but is hiding it well.  I will call her up complaining about morning sickness then she shows up with a pot of mint tea and saltine crackers.  Then in the afternoon I will sometimes crave something odd and either Riot or Allie will run out finding me what I am craving with a smile.  It amazes me when they show up with the focus of my craving and this has become a game.  I pick the strangest item I can just to see if they can find it!  It was an easy craving to solve this time because I wanted chocolate chip cookies.  I think I could hear both Riot and Allie sigh in relief.  Now I know it sounds like I am torturing them but honestly I am not.  Women do crave things while pregnant from the ordinary to the extreme strange.  We head down to the kitchen to make chocolate chip cookies using the mesh La Galleria Dinner Party Kitchen.  This kitchen is very nice and has a ton of options among them baking cookies.  Riot joined us in the kitchen making his comments about how beautiful my baby belly is in one breath. The next breath he is informing us that we look silly making cookies in our underwear and even telling us at point we were making them wrong.  I reach out to taste the cookie dough when Allie smacks my hand. I look at her asking why did she smack me?  She calmly replied because of the raw eggs.  Of course I had to argue about the odds of getting salmonella from raw eggs and she smiled stating that it does not matter she will not let me have it.  Thinking I was being cleaver I brought Riot into the argument.  He said without missing a beat that if I even touch raw cookie dough while pregnant with his child he would spank me!  This is no bueno!  Seriously spank me?  He sleeps eventually!  I crossed my arms and pulled a face while they stood their ground.  Finally I relented accepting a cup of hot cocoa and a warm cookie.  The cookies were delicious!  Riot ate half the plate making a comment about bloggers, even pregnant bloggers, can not indulge in to many sweets because the camera adds ten pounds.  Grrrr.  So here is the photo of Allie and I in the ..:sexZ:.. Bandleader Set.  These are really adorable with a pink accent bows and appliers for Lola Tango/Mirage breasts and PhatAzz.  GOING BUST  ends at midnight so run right to Cleavage!  Oh by the way I did sneak some dough when they were searching for mini marshmallows for the cocoa.  Grins.

 ..:sexZ:..-Bandleader Set @ GOING BUST 

A SURPRISE MATERNITY ALTERNATIVE @ LIVGLAM

I have discovered a point in my virtual pregnancy that is very difficult.  I will call it the, "YOUR SCREWED" stage.  It is the point between I am to large for regular clothing, other then clothing layers, and to small for the big belly stage mesh clothing.  It is a difficult spot to be in.  I would just sport the big belly clothes and be done with it but Riot enjoys the gradual progress and changes to my shape.  I have also thought I was completely insane for deciding to blog about this pregnancy and if I had not committed myself I truly believe I would be on adult sims running amok nude as nude can be.  You laugh but I guarantee that right now all my close friends are recalling when I left Gor where I rped as a Free Woman and spent the next month or so streaking.  Riot put a stop to it when we got together.  Imagine that!  Back to the growing belly.  So it is growing and honestly cute.  It is not to big nor to small and at this moment looks like a little pot belly of overindulging in pizza and beer.  Because of this I am still looking for alternatives in the fashion world.  I was working on The Autumn Effect hunt and was at LivGlam when I came across a second hunt gift.  I opened it and behold there was a cute dress.  Now even though I can easily change my shape to wear what I wish, my Tantra hud puts the proper shape right back on me every time I log in.  After 3 crashes you finally just give in to the SL gods and accept that you have to much belly for those cute mesh jeans.  Plus it is cheating to change your shape, pregnant women in the physical world do not have that option.  That being said I slipped on the dress without an alpha and was completely surprised, my belly did not show.  I double checked the size and swung my camera around realizing that indeed this dress could pass for an early stage maternity dress.  I was so pleased I ran right home and styled it.  One of my biggest fears doing this blog is that I will affect the sales of designers negatively.  No one wants to hear that the cute outfit they created can be used to help a woman look pregnant, but as a pregnant woman in SL I want to say thank you LivGlam for this one dress!  I could only pray you would intentionally create more designs for maternity because pregnant women wish to be fashion forward and stylish.  So here is the dress completely styled. 

See you Shopping,
Kalia




LivGlam


Wake Me Up Dress by LivGlam (HUNT)
Candy Skin by Glam Affair @  The Arcade (EVENT)
Paradise Sandals by Belgravia
Lolwa Hair by CaTwA
Feet & Nails by Slink
A01 Clutch by (MN) (Closed)
Tahitian Pearls by .:: TBP ::.(Closed)
Landscaping Elements by Heart Garden Centre
Photo Shot on location @ Heart Garden Centre

NOTE:  I know using items that are not longer available is somewhat discouraging.  I use them because I love them and to foster ideas.  There are valid and beautiful alternatives for sale all over the grid and on marketplace.

CALLING FALL

Autumn is beautiful and is the time when we pull out our sweaters, boots, and scarfs.  Our wardrobes taking on rich complexity with the need to layer.  Mornings are cold and by afternoon our sweaters are shed for the last moments of warmth. We take time for those things that are precious like walks in the fall rain and sharing the bounty of our harvests.  I have always seen Autumn as an incarnation of the Goddess,  Her beauty a mantle She lays upon the world preparing for the coming winter.  She walks upon the earth calling fall, taking back the life, wrapping it within the darkness to nourish Herself and eventually us.  It is a moment for everyone to realize that even as we near our own winters we are still beautiful magical creatures, that we are complex in color and diversity like fall itself.   When coming up with this photo concept I wanted to show my beliefs and show the intense beauty of nature.  First it was a choice on whether or not to use my pregnant shape only to discover that it was a rather easy choice.  The Mother carries within Herself the seeds of new life buried within the black soil waiting for their turn to reach towards the sun.  To symbolize the earth I picked Miamai's new Lora Gown in black.  The earth protects and nurtures us, every farmer will tell you that the darkest blackest earth is the richest for planting and in the Path of the Wise the color black means protection. I would also like to point out the color black is the presence off all colors and yet the absence of all light, something we personally experience as our nights grow longer and the light fades.  Mabon has passed and now we move towards Samhain the wheel ever turning through the year.  I urge you to enjoy the bright flash of beauty that is Autumn. Walk amongst the trees a they fall into their sleep, the leaves turning colors to eventually fall, and prepare for you own coming hibernation.



Lora Gown in Black by MIAMAI (NEW)
Candy Skin by Glam Affair @  The Arcade (EVENT)
Rykiel Hair by Lelutka
Cycle in Heaven Jewels by PurpleMoon Creations
Tula Crown by Evie's Closet
Long Fur Gloves by Gabriel
Black Leather Ankle Boots by Bax Coen Designs
Supreme Pose by PosESioN (NEW)
Gold Diamond Tennis Bracelet by Hogarth Designs Store(closed)
Fire Eyes (custom not available)
Landscaping Elements by Studio Skye
Photo Shot on location @ Epicosity Rentals