Monday, October 14, 2013

WATCHING YOU.

Have you ever felt like someone was watching you?  I have.  It is disturbing and makes you look around as you go about your life.  You stand in the dark and stare out the window trying to glimpse the person you can feel staring.  People call you paranoid and then one day you realize that you may be paranoid but somebody IS watching you!  Staring into your house while you go about your business.  Following you as you shop, work, and spend time with those you love.  The photographs start arriving and finally you loose it!  You buy a big dog named Killer, a gun, and a new alarm system.  You change your routine, leave your job, sometimes your employer asks you to leave, or fires you because it is not only affecting you but everyone you work with. Finally you become so desperate you move and then somehow the person always finds you and the terror starts all over again. 

Over 3 million people are stalked every year.  Millions are stalked online alone.  It is one of the most terrifying experiences you could ever go through.  There is a truth that people do not want to admit, stalking and violent crimes are linked.  Stalkers purposely try to ruin their victims lives by starting false rumors, and making a concentrated effort to sabotage their victims work and personal lives.  I took these pictures at first because they were unique and I needed to blog my friend Zee's items.  Then I sat back thinking about when I was stalked and the terror I experienced.  In the end I could not do this blog light heartedly. 

I have been stalked twice in my life.  Once by an ex who kidnapped my cats and threatened myself and my family with violence.  He made an effort to spend time with anyone who had any link with me at all.  He would call my workplace and show up unexpectedly at restaurants, bars, or at friends homes.  I remembered the effort my friends and mother made to drive me to and from work.  One friend even going as far to sit all night outside my house so I would sleep.  I remember how dismissive the police officer was when my stalker crashed a friends car outside my house.  The heart stopping feeling when I was told how he would sit across the street in the park and dry fire a gun at my head.  He had some of my brothers convinced that I was delusional and that he loved me.  He convinced them that he was the injured party in our relationship.  It ended badly but I survived and have learned to live through what happened.  I like to think that I even thrive.

The second time was online and the man told me where I lived.  Described my house to me and told me everything he could find online about me.  I would log in to chat with friends and suddenly there he was.  It ended because a good hearted hacker took action.

Honestly thinking and writing about this makes my heart pound, and I find it hard to breath.

We have even witnessed stalking in SecondLife.  Very public cases endured by the BOSL founder and the BOSL staff , and also very private cases amongst our friends and virtual family.  I have even had friends close their accounts and have to create new avatars to escape their tormentors or just leave SL never to return because they were afraid to log in.   Here are some facts that we all should know.  More women then men are stalked totaling 67 percent of all cases.  Women are usually stalked by men but women stalk women also and men face the same terror when they are victims of stalking.  If you think a woman is incapable of violence then you are mistaken.  I urge you all to educate yourselves and visit Futures Without Violence, WebMD article: How to protect yourself from a stalker., and Cyber Stalking Prevention .  Everyone deserves a life lived without terror be it physical or virtual. 

I need to apologize to Zee the owner of SexZ.  I had started these photos to blog her items and in the end they became an educational tool.  In no way does Zee or her store SexZ condone stalking or violence.  She is a strong powerful woman whom I have immense respect for. 

Keep yourself safe in this world and the physical world.  No one can do it for you.  Be proactive for yourself.

Kalia

 
 

 

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